Sunday, April 12, 2015

Sunday Thots

So, I have a confession to make (to myself since no one reads this blog...those are the safest kind of confessions to make :). It's been years and years since I've really really fasted. I was pregnant or nursing for 8ish years and I'll admit that the habit got broken. Since Brinley came along it's been really hard to get back into the habit, and while I was working on it it wasn't coming along super great. Mostly it was just starving....if I remembered it was Fast Sunday in the first place.
Well, conference happened (like it does every April and October) and I think it was the very first talk that talked about fasting. President Eyring mentioned a 24hr fast. And I guess I've heard that before, but it was always two meals in my mind, and really, it was basically just breakfast when it was put into practice.
Last night Scott reminded me it was Fast Sunday today while at Grandpa Brad's 80th birthday party. I appreciated the reminder and started fasting. It was quite different for me. I've never started the day before, I've never gone 24 hours, and it was difficult because the girls had their dance recital (hopefully that will be another post...but...just in case it isn't, they did awesome and it was fun to watch) that night and wanted to go to dinner after to celebrate. None of the kids liked my idea of starting their fasts then. There was weeping and tears, and I let dad take over...I mean, my oldest is 9 so it's not like I expect them to last the whole 24 hours, but I got excited and probably went a little overboard :) Dan took them to Arby's but made them eat it at home so I didn't have to be around it.
Anyway, to make a long story even longer this morning I really wanted my fast to mean something. So while I was praying about it in the shower (don't judge me...shower time is an excellent prayer time) I got the thought to ask Dan for a blessing. After the shower I felt kind of weird asking, but he readily agreed to give me one. I married a wonderful man. I'm so thankful to have a worthy priesthood holder in my home.
The blessing was a confirmation to me that Heavenly Father knows me, knows what is going on in my thoughts, and wants me to be the best I can be. Something interesting to me in the blessing was that I need to focus on the why of things and the hows and the whats will take care of themselves. That got me thinking and I realized I am losing sight of the big picture and going through the motions when really I need to be strengthening my testimony of the end goals in life. I need to focus on why I chose to be a wife and mother, why I'm a member of this church, why I want to gain a more personal relationship with my Father in Heaven.
Anyway, it was really powerful and an answer to a prayer, so I thought I'd write it down so I didn't forget this special experience I had.
Also, one of the conference talks (the last one I think) was about keeping the Sabbath Day holy. Now, we don't got shopping or out to eat or anything, but we could definitely do better in this area as well, so that was part of my thoughts this morning. Part of the talk describes Sunday as a day of rest, and while that isn't anything new,  I got something completely different for me. I got that I need to take a rest from those things that I am doing on a daily basis that can get in the way of the things that matter my relationship with God and my family. I was explaining this to Caden when we asked to play on the Kindle, and when I said "the things that matter most" and tapped him on the nose he said, "So...will you play a board game with me?!?" he was so excited when I said that was exactly what I meant. It was a different day for me not playing my games on the electronic devices or reading my books, but focusing on my lessons and my family.
More random things I got out of this day :) Dan and I were making dinner together and I mentioned to him that while he was listening to some Ted Talks the other day I was just thinking how much I would love to do that. Be a public speaker I mean. And then I realized today that my teaching Sharing Time is my Ted Talk. That's my opportunity the Lord has given me, and thinking about it in that way made me want to start preparing for in like I would if I was actually a public speaker. I would study and prepare more, and really try to reach out to my "audience". It made me really grateful that the Lord gave me that realization and that I have this chance and opportunity. It changed my perception of "Ugh, I'm still in the Primary..I'm always in the Primary" to "Wow, this is an awesome calling I have. I get to teach these little kids the most important things in life, and bear my testimony of these things every month!"
I definitely experienced some tender mercies today.


Andrea said...

Tarah, this was such an awesome post! I had the same thoughts about President Eyring's talk. Our Stake did Fast Sunday the week before Conference, and I totally forgot about it, so his talk meant a lot. I hope I can focus on doing better for our next Fast Sunday as well.

Rorie Linford said...

Tarah, you are awesome and this post really hit home with me. I'm in the same boat with fasting - with being pregnant and nursing for so many years, I fell out of the habit and had (OK, still have) a really hard time getting back into it. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that Joey is watching me, and even though he struggles with it, he still does his best, so by golly, I can too!

michelle said...

Very nice post Tarah. Good reminders.

Loni said...

Isn't it great that we can still learn! Thanks for sharing with us

Loni said...

Love the random photos